THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND

Astonishingly, it’s the holiday season again. A time of year when we warm-hearted women would love nothing better than to share the joys of the season with a man we love.

But when we’re married to THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND, this is an impossible dream.

Now, I’m not known for pessimism. In fact, I’m known as quite the opposite — as a dreamer.  A woman of vision, brimming with creativity and optimism.

So when I say that imagining happy holidays with THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND will only end in hurtful disappointment, please, pause and consider the wisdom of my words. They are words born of my research, observation and reflection for many years. Words springing from the pain of my own life. Words that express the expertise of my wonderful Guest Experts at my internet radio station, Martha Trowbridge Radio, LLC. Words that I hope will reach you in a very special way, to spare you from holiday sufferings this year.

Truth is, THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND is a particular breed of man whose envious, venomous nature prompts his endless attempts to destroy his wife’s Spirit.

Yes, this sounds harsh. And yes, it is harsh. Yet it’s true.

And at Holiday time, what better way to break his wife, to hurt her, than to destroy her Holiday joy?

This season, assess your husband’s behavior.  Is he generous, helpful, merry-making, grateful, respectful, tender and attentive?

Or is he resentful, grouchy, angry, complaint-riddled, uncooperative, critical, distant and full of vinegar?

Don’t ‘buy it’ when he blames the season for his moodiness.

Think about it: in addition to everything and everyone else he perpetually blames, THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND even blames holidays.

So you see? To him, nothing is sacred. Sadly and tragically, not even you.

THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND Radio Show debuts with It’s [Not] All In Your Mind, Dear: When Your Crazy-Making Husband Is A Narcissist. Please join my Guest Expert, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and LoveFraud.com columnist Steve Becker, and me, as we explore the muddled mind of The Narcissist — a.k.a. THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND.

THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND Radio Show is soon to debut at Martha Trowbridge Radio. Lots of fabulous guest experts, fascinating topics, enlightening discussions. All, validation, inspiration and expert advice for wives who suffer crazy-making by their husbands.

The radio site should be operational next week.  Once it is, you’ll be able to see upcoming show titles along with the featured guest experts.

In the meantime, if you’re up for it, please tune in to my recent interview by Peter Anthony Holder, “HOLDER TONIGHT”, on Canadian late-night Talk Radio CJAD Montreal and CFRB Toronto. It’s a fun show. You can access the interview near the bottom of THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND website’s home page.

Thanks! and see you soon at Martha Trowbridge Radio.

If you no longer feel like yourself, and your dear husband qualifies as THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND, get ready for some startling news.

Your husband has wrung the ‘you‘ out of you, with years of relentless brainwashing.

Brainwashing, yes, by emotional and mental browbeating, to render you into the woman he needs you to be. A spiritless, put-up-and-shut-up wife whose primary purpose is to mirror and echo his every whimper and whim.

THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND can’t have you any other way.

Sound chilling? Well, pause a moment and think. Are you permitted to be the woman you were, the day you married him? Does your husband cherish and honor your individuality? Or does he quash and ridicule you, whenever you dare let it show? Are your needs respected and validated? Or are they trivialized, and negated, then dismissed?

I’m brainwashed? you say. How preposterous! Well, ask yourself this: are your opinions and judgment genuinely valued by your husband? Or, is the only time you’re permitted to have a voice, the time when you voice his position?

Why women suffer far more than men from depression* is no mystery. Far too many of us are married to crazy-makers.

That brain-click, that aha! moment, that luminous [yet sickening] realization that the reason you are no longer ‘yourself’ is your husband has brainwashed you out of being you should bring along with it a HUGE sigh of relief. For the wonderful Truth is: despite his best efforts, at core, you are still you!

The proof is here, right here, in front of both our noses. You — the original, authentic you – are at your desk, searching for help, reading this blog.

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* Depression, simply put, is your Spirit crying out for your loving attentions. For more on women and depression, please visit my MARTHA TROWBRIDGE website.

Today’s post is a little story with huge implications.

Once there was a poor crazed wife whose cat had five kittens.  How sweet they were, how precious! The joy they added to her life–and to their mother’s life–was immeasurable.  How they helped offset the pain of her husband’s crazy-making! Each day, for wonderfully blissful moments, genuine love imbued her home. Warmth and wonder filled the rage-riddled rooms. Cuddling these five precious lives, her life was a lot less bleak.

Not so, for her Crazy-Making Husband. The joy he witnessed was unbearable. How dare they all share love, when in his heart there was nothing but cold stone? For months he bullied and badgered his poor crazed wife. “Get RID of them!” he’d bellow, at midnight. “You and those f—– cats!”

And though they had room, and acres of land to support these wonderful lives, and though she had ample funds to provide for their nurture and healthcare, shaken and scared, unable to bear his incessant emotional beatings, at last the poor crazed wife  ‘permitted’ her Crazy-Making Husband to take the five tiny kittens to an animal shelter.

“What is your problem — it’s all perfectly legal,” shouted The Crazy-Making Husband, when his wife cried out in grief.  Since it’s legal, he argued, there’s nothing wrong with what he did.

For if it’s legal, it’s ethical — yes? *

It’s ethical to steal five tiny innocent lives from their mother, and render them homeless. It’s ethical to leave them at a animal shelter, surrendering them to who-knows-what future. It’s ethical to rob your wife of the tiny bundles of joy that buttress her from slipping into insanity from your crazy-making.

Ask The Crazy-Making Husband. He’ll tell you. It’s legal, so it’s perfectly fine.

Their mother, five days later, cannot stop screaming, searching high and low for her lost babies. While I, as grief-stricken as she, contemplate this story’s grave implications, when it comes to life with The Crazy-Making Husband.

For, in this ‘culture’ that humans have constructed, it is perfectly legal to murder your wife’s Spirit with emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial abuse. It is perfectly legal to bully her. It is perfectly legal to rage at her, humiliate her, and chronically squash her sense of self.

Despite her clearly evident suffering, it’s perfectly legal to confiscate her meager scraps of joy.

Here in America, if it’s legal, it’s ethical, yes?

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* Note: For phrasing this question, I am grateful to Dr. Edmund Pellegrino, Professor Emeritus of Medicine and Medical Ethics at the Center for Clinical Medical Ethics at Georgetown University Medical Center.